Sunday, May 30, 2010

Feng Shui Showdown!!! Part 1

Here, before I begin, here is a silly story that I enjoyed writing so much. Enjoy!

I live next to Mdm See Mel Li. I call her Mdm Smelly. Mdm Smelly is obsessed with Feng Shui. Yea like REALLY obessesed!

She doesnt let me sun my shoes with the direction of the shoes facing her house and she doesnt let me dry my mop at the pagar which separates our houses.

One day, my balcony was under renovation so i had no choice but to sun my whole family's underwear and socks at the outside porch. Mdm Smelly said to me as i was clipping an underwear onto the drying line.....

Smelly: "Woi Girl!!, what are you doing?!?!"

Me : Auntie See! You cannot SEE what i am doing ah? hahaha!

Smelly: You don't try to be funny with me. You are sunning your panties!!

Me : Kaching! Congratulations auntie! U guessed correctly!!!! You have won 1 year's supply of toothpaste!

Smelly: Stupid girl donno what they teach you in school nowadays. I mean you cannot sun your panties here out in the open! It will affect this area's feng shui! You "sui" enough lar don't make me "sui" also!!

Me: Heh! I can sun anything i want in my house!!! I can even buy a coffin and face it to your house!!!!!

Smelly: How dare you!!!!!!

So auntie smelly, stormed into her house, took all her bras and panties, hung it on the pagar facing my house. then our next conversation began....

Me: Wah auntie, i didn know you were so 'sexy' inside all the time. hehehehe

Smelly: This is my daughter's. And I'm doing this so I can generate back the bad luck you are passing to me through your family's underwear to your house!!

Me: Whatever la auntie. U think you are so good in feng shui....

Smelly: What?! I'm good wat!

And so she challenged me to a FENG SHUI SHOWDOWN!!!!!

Being the person that I am, i accepted the challenge.

The challenge was that the both of us would use 1 week's time to do whatever we can to improve our house's feng shui.

Then after 1 week, we would invite two famous feng shui masters to evaluate both our house's good vibes. The person with the most good vibes in the house would win the challenge.

If she won, I would have to abide by her feng shui 'rules' for the rest of our lives and if i won, she was never to practice feng shui again.

to be continued...

till next time.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Arrrrgh!! You Smell Too Good!!!

Today I was in the bus as usual... and this lady suddenly shifted from her seat to sit next to me so I realized that she didn't wanna sit next to another lady who kept coughing. Ok fine.

But you know what????

She put tooooo much perfume!!! I was thinking..she shoudn't need to worry about the coughing lady coz the amount of of perfume she used would be enough to disinfect the air!!

I almost died sitting next to her!!! okla, over exaggerating.

Well anyway, I'm not kidding when I said 'enough to disinfect air'. I don't know how perfume would ever be able to disinfect air, but the amount she put on really made me feel it could..

It was as if she soaked her clothes in perfume before letting them dry. Or it was as if she jumped into a giant tub of perfume every morning. Can't she smell herself???? Is it even healthy to put on so much perfume???? Hahahaha

As I gather, some women spray on some perfume so that they can attract guys....but if that was her intention, then it was a massive FAIL! I'm not a guy but even if I was an ant, I wouldn't go near her for my own safety. Flies literally dropped dead around her.

No la..This is just a product of my imagination. hahaha

This reminds me...when I was in secondary school, I had to wait at the bus stop for the bus and sometimes, there would be a bunch of Jusco workers waiting for their bus. And WOOH! i would experience the same thing...

but imagine..about ten fully perfumed Jusco ladies standing around you!!!

I wonder.....was it in their appointment letter to "apply generous amount of perfume in order to avoid stinking customers away"....

Not only their perfume but I also couldn't help but notice that they all hide under 1 mile thick of make up!!

and that gets me wondering again...was it in their appointment letter that " those who did not pass the basic beauty assessment are required to hide their actual faces under at least 1 ton of make up to avoid scaring customers away".

sorry if you feel that I'm being mean but I just can't help my imagination sometimes...HAHAHAHAHA. XD

Maybe, just maybe, a portion of the world's air pollution is caused by exessive use of perfume....
OR maybe, just maybe, perfume can be used to kill certain viruses...


oh and ya,

MR SCIENTIST, if you ever read this and conduct an experiment and find that perfumes do kill certain viruses....... no need to give me money lar...just name the discovery after me.
Teehee :D

Thursday, May 6, 2010

You Drive Me Crazy

No no no no this post is not about a guy I've fallen in love with and is crazy over...LOL

This post is about something that literally almost drove me all the way to the home for bonkers..

Have you ever played with one of those maze thingys with little balls that drive you crazy coz u can't solve it???? This particular one that happened to cross my path almost drove me crazy on a few different occasions. Each time I can't solve it and give up, I try to make it dissappear...but I don't know how, I'll see it again!

So anyway, here's how it looks like.

See the big ball in the middle?? You're supposed to make it stand on a little hole and then the little balls are supposed to stand on their little holes AROUND the big ball. (the big ball can't come out of the round space).

The first thing you gotta do is position the big ball so it doesn't disturb the others. (and that's freaking hard to do!!! that alone can cause you to pull out all your hair!)
So the thing is, you have to position a small ball in the innermost hole first so you don't block the way for the others. And...when a small ball accidentally 'stands' on a small hole that doesn't belong to have to try to get it out right????so u gotta tap it a bit right???? YEA! AND THE FREAKING BIG BALL WILL COME OFF ITS HOLE!!!

So that picture up day, i managed to get 5 small balls in their position and was soo happy cos that was the best i ever did so far...

and then....

I managed to position 6 balls!!

And then...

AND drumroll...............................

WOHOOO~ Gembira!!

Tell you.....I was soooo soooo soooo happy that day!!! Its like, one item ticked of my list of things to accomplish!!

Now I can look at it without going crazeeee!!!!

Oh and ya,

For the a**hole genius that invented this.......