A simple four-lettered word that many know but yet many do not understand.
I don't claim to have discovered the true meaning of love, all kinds of love, not just romantic love, but lately I have come to a much clearer understanding of it.
I felt the need to write this post and there is so much to say that I feel that words can't fully justify it so I'll do my best.
Our heart is like an empty drinking glass. And love is like the water you pour into the glass. But there is one condition. You have to fill your own glass. People can fill it for you and "pour water into your glass", but only temporarily. They can't do it forever because they have their own glasses and other glasses to fill.
The water in the glass if not refilled often, will slowly dry up. The water in the glass represents how filled your heart is with love. A filled glass makes you feel joy, confidence, self worth, and ultimately puts you in alignment with the good things in life.
A constantly empty glass on the other hand, makes you feel unworthy of love, unworthy of success, makes you feel like there is a problem being an imperfect person when no one in this world is perfect anyway. But you won't be able to see this, you feel dead inside because the water (love) gives you life and sadly, your glass is empty.
How do we keep a glass constantly filled with water when other people can't help us fill it forever?
We have to fill it ourselves. But first, we have to REALIZE that WE HAVE the ABILITY to FILL OUR OWN GLASSES. So many people have been brought up or programmed to believe that their glasses need to be filled by someone else. They do not realize that their glasses need to be filled by they themselves. They need to learn to love themselves. You need to give yourself love, and not constantly seek love and validation from another being. Because that is not sustainable.
When we have an almost empty glass and we never fill it ourselves, we are constantly in search of someone who can fill it for us while trying to fill up someone else's glass.
LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME! FILL UP MY GLASS FOR ME! I NEED YOU! DON'T YOU SEE THAT I'M FILLING YOUR GLASS UP? WHY DON'T YOU FILL MINE?! IT'S NOT FAIR! I CAN NEVER FIND TRUE LOVE!
Is it clear now that this is a problem? But what if you don't know how to love yourself? You don't know how to fill your own glass with water? You were never taught how.
Try this, look at yourself from a third person point of view. If this is difficult for you, look at yourself in the mirror and pretend you are someone else looking at you.
When you see you there, give you a hug, or a pat on the head or shoulder, tell you that you love you and you're doing a great job. Hug you and say, I love you. Look at you straight into your eyes and say I am proud of you. You are enough. Fill that person's heart with love. Fill that person's glass. This is truly empowering.
Now that you can feel your glass filling up, you have more love in your heart. And when you get so good at filling your own glass, you will feel like you are overflowing with love, because your glass is overflowing with water. You now have so much extra water (love) to give to another person and to help fill another person's glass. Because you can't give someone love, if you don't have love for yourself first. I don't mean this in a narcissistic self love kind of way, but rather the purest kind of love that is also selfless.
Surely there will be times when we forget to fill our own glass or have a difficult period of doing so but KNOWING that we have the ABILITY to do so, liberates us from needing someone else to fill it for us.
Sometimes, for some people, their own glass is drying up, because they haven't filled it in a while, but yet they don't let anyone else fill it for them. Because they don't feel worthy of someone else's love.
There is no strict rule to this, yes sometimes we need to let other people temporarily fill it for us while we regain the power to do so ourselves. As much as it is important for us to love ourselves first before giving love to someone else, it is also important for us to ALLOW someone to give us love while we work on our setbacks. Because you are worthy of love no matter where you are in life.
And why the title Loving without Attachment?
Because when you have so much love in your heart, and you are overflowing with it, you can give it to someone without expecting anything else back in return. When you love a person, you love a person. That is just as simple as that. But often people love with so much attachment that they expect something in return. They expect a label, they expect to be treated in a certain way, to take ownership of the other person, to have possession over something, or expect the other person to fit their precise idea of a glass filler and, they expect the other person to fill their glasses for them in return.
Surely labels are nice but they should come naturally when the time is right and when everything aligns with your true self. And you should also love yourself enough to be able to remove yourself from a situation that is toxic. The love you constantly fill your own heart with will help you recognize these moments and guide you.
When you love someone without attachment, you don't expect or pressure the other person to fill your glass. And when you don't do that, you allow that person the space to grow and learn to fill their own glass until theirs is ALSO overflowing that they now can give some to you at times when yours isn't.
Love is just so beautiful and comes in so many different forms but we have to realise that the purest kind of love is loving our true selves, loving our own souls.
So I hope that after reading this, you remember to fill your own glass and fill your heart with so much love that you feel the strong need to fill someone else's heart with love too.
Living in love and light with you,
Evie. 💗
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