Feng Shui Showdown!! Part 2

The rules of the game were like this:

1. We cannot secretly or in the open alter the other person's house feng shui and we can only
change the feng shui in our own premises.

2. All activities regarding feng shui must be done within the one week.

3. On the last day of the week, we will employ two renowned feng shui masters in Malaysia to
evaluate our houses to see who has the most good vibes and the person with the most good
vibes will win and the loser will have to foot the bill for employing the masters.


And so our Feng Shui frenzie began....

Day 1

Madam Smelly hung angpao packets with coins in it all over her garden plants and the angpao packets had a "luck" word in chinese on it.

What did i do?

I did some spring cleaning. Actually i don't know shit about feng shui. I just knew dat the colour red is preferred. Thats all I know. So i decided to guess my way through the competition. Its not dat i believe that the physical changes are really gonna bring in luck!
Anyways, It was almost the end of the year and my house looked a mess so I might as well clean my house up, and at the same time it might generate some good 'chi'!.



Day 2

What did she do??

She bought a dozen fat goldfish to add to the other dozen of goldfish she already has to bring in prosperity. Sheesh.

So I had to do something.
What did I do?

I bought a dozen crunchie chocolate bars. WHAT? I didn know what to do wat. Crunchie inside got honeycomb mah. Honeycomb look like gold bar inside wat. haiya. tasty somemore.


Day 3

Wah! You know what she did???? She bought all sorts of little statues and hanging things to decorate her house! Made her house look so UGLY!!!! I practically laughed at her when I saw what she was doing!

What did i do???

I didn do anything.
No. Actually i didn know what to do.
No actually i was too tired laughing at her all day.

Day 4 & Day 5

Whatever she did she did inside. I did not see her for these two days.
I didnt do much either.
Oh and another thing. I had a visitor come to my house. He was a friend of my uncle who is my father's brother in law's friend's grandfather's third wife's ex-boyfriend's brother. He was some sort of feng shui master apparently.

Well, he stepped into my house and said that the house next door's good vibes were overpowering us. He said that we were lucky to have such a neighbour as some of the goodness will come to our house.
he obviously didn't know we were competing!

I couldn't live off her scraps of luck!!!

I HAD TO DO SOMETHING! AND QUICK!!!

This was when it dawned on me that this feng shui stuff actually does work.

I did the unthinkable. I went to the extend of painting my house YELLOW!
Yup! yellow. So my house would be 'wong'. hehehe genius eh????

BUT MRS COPYCAT NEXT DOOR COPIED ME!!!!!!

She didn't paint her house in yellow but she painted it red! R-E-D!
She said it would make her house have 'ong' =.='

Darn it. It was the last day of our battle so there was little i could do to win.
I knew I was gonna lose so i prepared to pay for the feng shui master fees. :'-(


OOH BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?


When the feng shui masters Miss Lillian Three and Mr Joey Nope came over to examine our houses, they decided to start with Mdm Smelly's.
I was so sure that i was gonna loose that I didnt care if they even came to my house.
Miss Three and Mr Nope were showering Mdm Smelly with so much praises that my face fell another two more feet.

SO when they finally decided to come to my house...........nyehehehehe.......

FIRST, Miss Three said,

WAAHHHH! SO 'WONG' !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So i became defensive and said,

EH???? I LIKE YELLOW OK?! I THINK MY HOUSE LOOKS NICE!

Then she said,

Nononono. I don't mean it that way. Your house is really 'wong'.

Then Mr Joey Nope said,

WAH REALLY LAH!!!! ACCORDING TO MY CLOCK-LIKE-THINGY-THAT-FENGSHUI-PEOPLE-USE-DEVICE, Your house is exploding with luck!!!

Then I said,

Did See Mel Li pay you to say this just to mock me?!?!?!

Well whadyaknow???

They both said,

WE NOW DECLARE THIS HOUSE AS THE WINNER!

woohoooo!!!!!! I Immediately did a back flip forward flip double somersaults+triple cart wheels. let out a victorious fart and said to Mdm Smelly, "would you kindly please make the payment to these two wonderful people as they are very busy." :-D

Mdm Smelly immediately pengsan-ed into her goldfish pond.

So i took the chance to take the two masters secretly aside, and said, "tell me. who payed you two to help me? There is no way I could have possibly won this."
they said, " no Miss you won this fair and square. We have never before seen a house like yours. So much luck pouring out from inside that we didn't even need to go into your house to know who would win. I really can't explain why. I think i should go home to read my super thick and dusty 52 inch thick feng shui book to find the answer. Good luck to u. no me. u obviously don't need anymore of it. "


So i bid them farewell and started to wonder myself.......
what could've caused so much good energy from inside???
oh i left the woman soaking in her pond.. Don't worry, she couldn't possibly have drowned. The pond's small and she knows how to swim.

Anyways, when i stepped into the house, I was greeted by all my family members and 88 phones staring at me....

Huh??

"whats' going on?" "why the feng shui masters said our house so 'wong'? did u guys do something?"

"hee hee hee hee hee hee hee. you owe us." " look at all these phones here. what do they all have in common?"

"er....they all have buttons, 1,2,3,4,5,6..."

"no stupid! look at the screens!"

"oh.....er...i see...

think
..
think
..
think
..
think
..
similarities
..
think
..
think
..
.
.
.
GOT IT!!!
.
.
.
Wait for it...
.
.
.
.
wait for it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

DIGI!!!!

My house SUPER 'WONG' because i had 88 yellow men secretly dancing in my house!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAA! why didn't i think of that????


Now i have to return 88 phones to the 88 Digi subscribers who so kindly lent me their phones....


This story was not based on a true story so if something this absurd ever happened to you in your life I congratulate you but don't sue me cos I don't know you and this was created by imagination. I don't know you. Thank you very much for reading until here.



Okie!
till next time.
tata!
:P